Snape’s Worst Memory
“All right, Snivellus?” said James loudly.
Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: Dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, “Expelliarmus!”
Snape’s wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
“Impedimenta!” he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet, halfway through a dive toward his own fallen wand.
Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer to watch. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.
Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water’s edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.
“How’d the exam go, Snivelly?” said James.
“I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,” said Sirius viciously. “There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.”
Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular. Wormtail sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.
“You - wait,” he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. “You - wait…”
“Wait for what?” said Sirius coolly. “What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?”
Snape let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but his wand being ten feet away nothing happened.
“Wash out your mouth,” said James coldly. “Scourgify!”
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -
“Leave him ALONE!”
James and Sirius looked around. James’s free hand jumped to his hair again.
It was one of the girls from the lake edge. She had thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders and startlingly green almond-shaped eyes - Harry’s eyes.
Harry’s mother…
“All right, Evans?” said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.
“Leave him alone,” Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. “What’s he done to you?”
“Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…”
Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn’t, and neither did Lily.
“You think you’re funny,” she said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”
“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” said James quickly. “Go on…Go out with me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”
Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch toward his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.
“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.
“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape, “OY!”
But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.
Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter.
Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, “Let him down!”
“Certainly,” said James and he jerked his wand upward. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.
“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.
“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” said James earnestly.
“Take the curse off him, then!”
James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the coutercurse.
“There you go,” he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again, “you’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -“
“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”
Lily blinked. “Fine,” she said coolly. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.”
